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BLARG! All Over Wrigley!

by Jacky Stone and His Ugly Bones

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  • Streaming + Download

    Our Super Fun Sensitive Sophisticated Gritty Catchy Punk Rock Debut Album with a Story about MerMaids! If You've Been to a Show, You've Probably Heard Many of these Songs. Hopefully, You Enjoyed them, We Sure Do. It was Fun to Make (in Attics and BedRooms and Luxury AutoMobile BackSeats) and it's a Hoot and a Half to Hear.

    Each of the Songs can be Downloaded for Free! The site asks for your email address and you are then sent a download code. Your email address is probably not sent to the New World Order Illuminati Blood Drinking Monsters, so don't fret.

    Should you decide you want the entire album in one go, which I wholeheartedly recommend, send me some dough using PayPal. It's "Totally Free!", but if you want to send me some "Buckaroos" (perhaps you're the Prince of Monaco and really like my music) feel free to do so. There are a couple of extra songs that come with downloading the whole album.

    BandCamp is Awesome! Any Funds You Send our Way Get to Us with Very Little in the Way of Fees. Significantly More Awesome than yTunes.

    We Send Awesome Stuff to our Email List (Songs, Stickers, T-shirts, Pictures of My Beefy RoomMates with their Shirts Removed) so DownLoad a Song (or 17) and Sign Up. It's Going to Be Awesome.

    The Picture to the Right is Real. Her Trousers Really Did that. Life Can Be Really Awesome.

    -Jacky Stone and His Ugly Bones
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1.
I Still Love Green Day (free) 01:28
Heard You Crying Loud All the Way Across Town You've Been Searching for that SomeBody That is Me Seen It All Before, Something about a Door It's Been Years since I have Heard the Original Song But I Still Love Green Day I Don't Care Who Knows It I Still Love Green Day I Remember 1996 I Still Love Green Day Even though I Cannot Listen to Their Newest Album all the Way Through I Declare I don't Care No More Growing Up and Out and Bored In My Smoked Out Boring Room My Hair is Shagging in My Eyes, Wait a Minute that's a Lie I've Never Been Able to Get My Hair to Shag Down in My Eyes But I Still Love Green Day I Don't Care Who Knows It I Still Love Green Day They're the Greatest Band I've Ever Heard I Still Love Green Day Don't Care if You Agree with Me So What if Billy Joe Dresses like Avril Lavigne
2.
Tough Call (free) 02:47
Is it Better When an Ex-Lover Stays Beautiful? Or is it Better When an Ex-Lover Gets Fat? Well it's Tough to Call, I Guess it's kind of like Is it Better to Get Shot in the Face or Leap HeadFirst at a Bullet? When I Leave the House I Always See an ExLover Some of them Stayed Cute some of them got Really Fat Couldn't really Say which Encounter Hurts Me More My Capacity for Pain was Exceeded Three Years Ago Is it Better When an Ex-Lover Stays Beautiful? Or is it Better When an Ex-Lover Gets Fat? Well it's Tough to Call, I Guess it's kind of like Is it Better to Get Shot in the Face or Leap HeadFirst at a Bullet? Last Time I Saw You, You were Walking Down the Street Though more Accurately I Guess You were More Stumbling While Hanging on the Arm of some Sleazy Guy Who I had Never Seen BEFORE BUT SOMETIMES YOU CAN JUST TELL HE'S SUCH A SLEAZY LOSER HIS CLOTHES ARE SO FUCKING CHEEZY CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH HIM Is it Better When an Ex-Lover Stays Beautiful? Or is it Better When an Ex-Lover Gets Fat? Well it's Tough to Call, I Guess it's kind of like Is it Better to Get Shot in the Face or Leap HeadFirst at a Bullet? I Wish that Breaking Up were Banned No-One would Have an Ex Again And if You Needed Out, Out of the Relationship You Could Always Kill Your BoyFriend.
3.
Up At Parties (free) 01:54
Why is it Whenever You Get There they've just Given Out their Last Beer? And All the People You Know Left 15 Minutes Ago? But Not Before Spilling something on the Carpet and Breaking a Piece of the Furniture They Made Out with the Host's Girlfriend and Now You're Getting Your Ass Kicked. There was a Trick to Working Parties that I knew in my Younger Days. They Helped me to Feel Alive, but Now they're Killing Me. If I have One More Four Loco, I Swear my Liver will Explode. Oh God Please Send Me something else to Help Me Be Up At Parties! Up At Parties! Why is it Whenever You Get There, they've Poured the Last of the Good Whiskey? And Everybody there is a Person You Don't Want to See? They were Your Friends but they Sided with Your Ex. You haven't Seen them in Two Years And Speaking of Your Ex, there She is! I Hate Parties! I Hate Parties but I've Gotta Do Something Tonight! I've Gotta Do Something Tonight! So I'm Going to a Party Tonight! As Soon as I Get the Call.
4.
Veggin' Out (free) 01:56
Another night just watching TV Netflix is really helping me I haven't watched stand-up comedy Since early in the year 2003 I've mostly been concerned with the scene Getting to work on time and looking clean Veggin' Out has really helped me get back to my True Self! 1-2-3-4 Veggin' Out has really helped me get back to My True Self. Laying around not doing a thing, that's what's at the Heart of Me What happened to that other Pound of Cheese How much Cheese did you Guys Eat? And the Beer that used to be here Appears to be somewhere else It left a Trail of Empty Bottles though Leading out onto the Porch Would have Gone to Check it out except it's Snowing Again! Fuck This Snow Oh My God It's Snowing Again! When will this Winter ever End? Oh My God It's Raining Again! When will this Weather Ever End? Oh My God It's Saturday Again! It Just Keeps on Happening! Oh My God, Can I please get off this Crazy Train Called Life?
5.
Lead (free) 01:39
Please don't make me go to sleep the bugs come and take my blood from me so I don't run off while they feed they fill my veins with Lead and heat now I can't rise when it's daylight I couldn't move my this body with all my might so please don't think that I don't like you it's just that sleeping is all that I can do now that my body's full of Lead now that my blood's been replaced with Lead.
6.
Wish Berries (free) 01:19
The Kids are Moving Back and All The WishBerries are Blooming We had an Election Today but I couldn't Vote Because... I was Thinking of You! I Wrote You In For Justice of the Peace Cut Your Name Into the Voting Machine... They Threw Me Out of the Polls! So We Lost the Race The Party-Party Didn't Win All the Seats Went to Draconians... Evil Men with No Hearts! So I Can't See You Again Under the New Regime They've Outlawed Romance and Banned All Dating... We have to Fall Out of Love! So Please Don't Call Me Back and I'm Sorry for Using all the Space in your Mailbox.
7.
What Laura Says (free) 01:41
She Gets Off of Work And She Goes Out to the Bar She Gets Super Drunk And Complains of How Shitty Her RoomMates Are That Bitch left Her Shoes in the Hall Again That Bitch Let Her Dog in my Room and it Shit in my Bed She Moved all the Dishes to the Living Room, there's NoWhere to Sit. I Fucking Swear to God, I'm Gonna Kill that Bitch after this Drink! You'll Be There 'Till 2 She's Got so Much that She Needs to Go Through About the BullShit She Endures, Just to Keep Her Room. Her RoomMate's BoyFriend is such a LameDick Douche They're not even in Love, Everything they say is Rude He Drink All of Her Coffee and He's Always Sleeping on Her Couch. Let's Settle-Up this Tab and Go Punch that DoucheBag in the Mouth. She Gets Off of Work And She Goes Out to the Bar She Gets Super Drunk And Complains of How Shitty Her RoomMates Are You'll Be There 'Till 2 She's Got so Much that She Needs to Go Through Oh Lord the BullShit She Endures, Just to Keep Her Room. This is What Laura Says This is What Laura Says Anytime that She's Around.
8.
Johnny dies at the End Of Wounds he received saving children from a Church Fire Then Dally loses his mind... Holds up a Clerk with an Unloaded Gun But the Cops don't care They Shoot Him Down Anyway Dally Crawls through the Mud and Loses all his Blood Crawls on his Elbows Bleeds a lot and Says: Pony.... Then he also Dies. Then Dally also Dies.
9.
Brother Levy (free) 02:07
Aaron Levy it's not that Bad You Don't Have to Take those Pills Aaron Levy it's not that Bad You Don't Have to Take those Pills Aaron Levy things are Looking Up You Don't Have to Take those Pills You Don't Have to Take Anything that You Don't Want. What if Any is the Latest Word The Latest Word on Food Not Bombs Who's Running it Now Getting Ticket For Giving out Food in the Park It Seems to Me like they could Use Some Brother Levy Guidance Right Now Aaron Levy How about You Stick Around for Just a Little While? Aaron Levy it's not that Bad You Don't Have to Take those Pills Aaron Levy it's not that Bad You Don't Have to Take those Pills Aaron Levy things are Looking Up You Don't Have to Take those Pills You Don't Have to Take Anything that You Don't Want. It's Been Too Long since I've Seen You Wear Your Super-Cute Kitty Ear Hat With a Shoulder Bag and a Bushy Beard A Hoodie with a Black Fist Patch Aaron Levy Your Sense of Style Is Reason Enough to Stay Alive Aaron Levy there is No Need, No Need to Make YourSelf Die. Aaron Levy it's not that Bad You Don't Have to Take those Pills Aaron Levy it's not that Bad You Don't Have to Take those Pills Aaron Levy things are Looking Up You Don't Have to Take those Pills You Don't Have to Take Anything that You Don't Want.
10.
A Tale of Love, Confusion, Devotion, Friendship and the Problems with Abstinence-Only Education.
11.
Bowling Alone (free) 02:26
Bowling Alone Bowling Alone Again Bowling Alone Bowling Alone Without My Friends Bowling Alone Bowling Alone the Third Time this Week Bowling Alone As Long as You're Bowling You Can Drink for Free! Do You have Any Idea How Much Beer Costs? This Pitcher in a Bar would Cost 12 Bucks I've Gotta Save Up Lots of Money so I Can Leave this Fucking Country So if I Want to Drink I Have to Bowl. Bowling Alone Bowling Alone Again Bowling Alone Bowling Alone I Have No Friends Bowling Alone Bowling Alone the Fifth Time this Week Bowling Alone As Long as You're Bowling You Can Drink for Free! Do You have Any Idea How Much Beer Costs? This Pitcher in a Bar would Cost 12 Bucks I've Gotta Save Up All My Money so I Can Leave this Wretched Country So if I Want to Drink I Have to Bowl!
12.
Beyond the Ponderosa (free) 00:59
Beyond the Ponderosa There is a Barren Wasteland Where Everyone's a Mutant and the Earth is Boiling Quicksand There's a place for You and Me Dear Out there in that Barren Wasteland We can Live Among the Mutants and Tend the Boiling Quicksand I'll be Waiting Out There for You Out There in that Barren Wasteland I'll be the One who's Not a Mutant Singing Love Songs in the Quicksand...
13.
How's the Reunion? (free) 03:22
This Hotel is Alright I Guess It is the Newest One in Town They Just Finished Construction and It's Got a Funny Name There are So Many People Here A Really Great Turnout this Year I Hope they Hold it in this Place from Now On I Have Just Booked Up My Room For the Next Three Decades or So I'll Never Miss out on a Chance To Catch Up with You Guys Again In Order to Go Back to the Ways of the Days of '99 We'll Just Move in the Drury and Let Our Lives ReInterTwine Like 1999 1999 Nineteen Ninety Nine I Chased a Girl Driving a Jeep My Trousers were Around My Knees My Arms were Spread Out in the Air My Voice was Screaming Out a Prayer If I can Make It with this Girl I'll Do My Best to Save the World I'll Devote All My Life to God if I Can Date a Girl So Hot For All of 1999 1999 Nineteen Ninety Nine It's too Bad that You Lost Your Job I'm So Sorry Your Father Died It Really Broke My Heart to Hear of All the Problems with Your Wife It Seems like You are Carrying Much More Weight in Your Face these Days Is that Weight on Account of the Baby that I was Told You Made They Said You had it with that Guy What's His Name that You Used to Date Way Back in the Nostalgic Days Of 1999 1999 Nineteen Ninety Nine
14.
Internet Dating (free) 00:14
Met Some Guy on the Internet Drank Dinner Ate Some Drinks and We MadeOut, but that was Back in August and it's December Now, and I haven't Seen any Action since that Night.
15.
Failure Street (free) 01:39
You're in So Much Trouble only God can Save You Now I Suggest You get a Direct Line Put in Get You All the Answers to Your Urgent Needs Get Your Ass Off Failure Street. Woah. You're Gonna Be Caught Up in All Your Lies You're Running Out of Places to Hide Them You're Gonna Be Called on All Your Shit The Only Choice is to Deal with It. Woah. Why Don't You Catch a Freighter to Egypt I Hear that God Still Lives Out There Get Yourself in the Pyramids Scream So Loud They can't Help but Hear You. Woah.
16.
Hey there Super Pretty Girl Dig the Way you See the World It's not that I don't Love You Just Not like you Love me My Heart's Tattered Worn and Sore Can't Push Out Love anymore Any Love you Want You'll Have to Come and Get yourself Though I Dig that you Told me It's Cool a Pretty Girl Loves me It's not that I Don't Love you Back Just not like you Love me
17.
Debt Collection (free) 01:27
18.
Less Than Jake (free) 00:21
I'm Gonna See Less than Jake I'm Gonna Dance the Night Away We're Gonna Sing and Laugh 'till Dawn Then We'll Break-Up and I'll Move On.
19.
The Queen of SunnyDale (free) 02:04
Buffy the Vampire Slayer I'd Love to Sit with You as You Do Your Hair and Maybe I Could Make Snacks To Help You Get You're Energy Back After You've Saved some Kids From Being Eaten by Demons I Know it Must be really Hard To Be a Hero when You're just 16. Maybe I could Help You to Get Your HomeWork Done on Time I Know that I have not been the Best Example with Doing Mine But for You I'd Get it Done Thanks for Saving Everyone From the Master's Evil Plan You Saved Every Child Woman and Man. Buffy the Vampire Slayer You are the Queen of SunnyDale and You Deserve to Be Treated as Such.
20.
Into the Sea (free) 01:10
She Threw Herself into the Sea Threw Herself into the Sea To Escape the Surface World and Me I Saw Her Swallowed by the Waves Saw Her Trounced 'Round by the Waves I Heard the Sea Break Every One of Her Bones I Dove in with a Vest of Life Dove in Screaming Please don't Die She would rather Drown than Look at Me It was the Night of Senior Prom Eleven Years Ago She Died Driven Mad by Dancing Close to Me That's Why I cannot Dance with You Even though You're Super Cute Your Eyes are very Bright to Me but They're the Colour of the Sea.
21.
Dreary Song (free) 00:27
Okay fine I say yes you seem so excited for this let me know when we are done don't go telling anyone that I have this kind of fun 'cause why else then would anyone listen to this dreary song instead of a fun one where they can sing along
22.
Mrs. Cardellini (free) 04:46
Mrs. Cardellini So Good to See You Here I have Loved Your Daughter for a Long Long Time We Met on the TV Set of the Show Freaks and Geeks She Knew Gymnastics We were both Sixteen but I Up and Quit the Show and I Let Your Daughter Go I Ran off with a Girl who had Rings in Her Lips The Hardest that I ever Laughed was with Her No One's Denying that The Best Times that I ever had were with Her No One's Denying that The Worste things that I ever Did were to Her I can't Deny that any Longer So Mrs. Cardellini when You See Your Daughter Will You Please Ask Her this One thing for Me Mrs. Cardellini if You Think it's Right Mrs. Cardellini if You have the Time Mrs. Cardellini Look Into my Eyes Will You Ask Linda if She'll be my Wife? I Loved All of Her TV Shows Movie Premieres I Always Go Cannot get enough of Your Beautiful Girl Super Cute in Scooby Doo Hotter still in Number Two Now I get to See where She got Her Looks She' s got the Brightest Eyes and She is the Perfect Size I really Dig the Fact that She's 5ft 2 Mrs. Cardellini Hope You Take this Right like Your Daughter Your Eyes are Bright! Mrs. Cardellini if You Think it's Right Mrs. Cardellini if You have the Time Mrs. Cardellini Look Into my Eyes Will You Ask Linda if She'll be my Wife? I've got a Little Bike it's Brown I Zoom on it all over Town Wish Hard every day that it were a Time Machine 'Cause if I Rode it Fast Enough If I Pedaled Hard Enough I'd Take it All the Way Back to 1998 From that Time I'd Start Again and Be a Much Better Boyfriend I'd Never Leave Your Daughter and I'd Stay on Freaks and Geeks. The Hardest that I ever Laughed was with Her No One's Denying that The Best Times that I ever had were with Her No One's Denying that The Worste things that I ever Did were to Her I can't Deny that any Longer So Mrs. Cardellini when You See Your Daughter Will You Please Ask Her this One thing for Me Mrs. Cardellini if You Think it's Right Mrs. Cardellini if You have the Time Mrs. Cardellini Look Into my Eyes Will You Ask Linda if She'll be my Wife? Mrs. Cardellini I Understand why You Can't Help Me Out but when You Next See Linda just Tell Her I Said Hi and I Think about Her and Sometimes it's a Lot of the Time a lof of the Time it's just Sometimes There's quite a bit of Time I Spend Thinking of Your Daughter Let Her Know She Can Call Me if She Wants to Call Me and if it ever seems like Maybe She is Thinking of Me Will You Please Do this Mrs. Cardellini Mrs. Cardellini if You Think it's Right Mrs. Cardellini if You have the Time Mrs. Cardellini Look Into my Eyes Will You Ask Linda if She'll be my Wife?
23.
My Life in Hell (free) 01:07
I Hate Every Girl in the World 'Cause None of them Will Be with Me I Hate their Hair and their Lying Smile and the WitchCraft in their Feminine Wiles Nowadays it seems to Me they All act like they're in a Fraternity They Drink too much They Smoke too much They Fuck too much and don't Love Enough So I'll probably Die Alone Nobody Calls Me on the Phone Spend every Night all by Myself Why is my Life such Hell? I Hate the Way they Get what they Want by Smiling like Debutantes They Look at You and Shake their Hair and put their Perfume everywhere I'm Sorry Ma'am You'll have to Leave 'cause in that Stink I cannot Breathe You might as well Give Up Now 'cause We'll Never Ever Be Together 'Cause I'm Planning on Dying Alone Don't Let People Call Me on the Phone Spend Every Night all by Myself I'm Starting to Enjoy My Life in Hell.
24.
Remember (free) 02:08
Do You Remember what We used to Say to each other at the Start of the Day? It was that I Love You and that You Love Me too, No Matter what Happens things Will Be Okay But Nobody Says those Kinds of Things these Days Nobody Seems to Fall in Love these Days Everyone is Breaking Up this Whole World is So Damn Messed Up I'm Never Going Out in It Again You're a Pretty Girl so it's not that Hard for You to Catch a Ride on some Guy's Arm Every time I'm out I'm just Drinking with the Guys Drink too Much Go Home and Cry but Every time I See You You've Got Yourself a Brand New guy and just like all the Others he's got no Style Nobody Says those Kinds of Things these Days Nobody Seems to Fall in Love these Days Everyone is Breaking Up this Whole World is So Damn Messed Up I'm Never Going Out in It Again When I Leave the House it's a Certainty that You're Gonna Walk on Over to Me Smile and I'll Wave I'll Tell You Lies Why the Fuck won't You just Let Me Die? Nobody Says those Kinds of Things these Days Nobody Seems to Fall in Love these Days Everyone is Breaking Up this Whole World is So Damn Messed Up Why the Fuck won't You Let Me Die
25.
Burn Las Vegas Down (free) 01:43
God Please Burn Las Vegas Down God Please Smash it to the Ground Cut a Hole in My Head to Bleed Out the Sound of the Sin City UnderGround Sure I'll Give You a Ride in My Car I'm not Working anyway and You Say the Room is Paid for Well I Can Party for Five Days Turns Out that I Like Roulette Put All My Money on Black 'Cause that's the Colour I am Wearing Just like in the Alkaline Trio God Please Burn Las Vegas Down God Please Smash it to the Ground Cut a Hole in My Head to Bleed Out the Sound of the Sin City UnderGround JK Won a lot on Slots Bought us each a Tittie Mug I Spent most of My Time Sulking Driving Up and Down the Strip Let's Play the Hottie Counting Game First One to Fifty is How You Win Oh We're Both so Fucking Broke Let's just Play this Game Forever God Please Burn Las Vegas Down God Please Smash it to the Ground Cut a Hole in My Head to Bleed Out the Sound of the Sin City UnderGround
26.
Baggage (free) 01:09
It'd Be Great to Meet a Girl in a Far Away Airport that Way the Two of Us could See if Our Baggage Matched Mine is Big but it's Got Wheels on It Mine is Big but it's Got Wheels on It She's Got Lots of Little Things they Add up to a Bunch though It Could Work Out Super Fine Hers could Ride on the Back of Mine She Would Have to Steer It though I Have No Control Over the Things that Bother Me and Over the Things that Annoy Me and the Ten Thousand Heart Breaking Things that I See in a Weekend Woah YES!

about

Recorded Spring and Summer 2010. It is the best thing I have ever done with my Life.

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released August 31, 2010

H.T. Green was instrumental (by which I mean crucial) to the creation of this album. He supervised recording some of the tracks, and loaned me some great equipment.

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Jacky Stone and His Ugly Bones Flagstaff, Arizona

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