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1. |
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Heard You Crying Loud
All the Way Across Town
You've Been Searching for that SomeBody
That is Me
Seen It All Before,
Something about a Door
It's Been Years since I have Heard the Original Song
But I Still Love Green Day
I Don't Care Who Knows It
I Still Love Green Day
I Remember 1996
I Still Love Green Day Even though I Cannot Listen to
Their Newest Album all the Way Through
I Declare I don't Care No More
Growing Up and Out and Bored
In My Smoked Out Boring Room
My Hair is Shagging in My Eyes,
Wait a Minute that's a Lie
I've Never Been Able to Get My Hair to Shag Down in My Eyes
But I Still Love Green Day
I Don't Care Who Knows It
I Still Love Green Day
They're the Greatest Band I've Ever Heard
I Still Love Green Day Don't Care if You Agree with Me
So What if Billy Joe Dresses like Avril Lavigne
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2. |
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Is it Better When an Ex-Lover Stays Beautiful?
Or is it Better When an Ex-Lover Gets Fat?
Well it's Tough to Call, I Guess it's kind of like
Is it Better to Get Shot in the Face or Leap HeadFirst at a Bullet?
When I Leave the House I Always See an ExLover
Some of them Stayed Cute some of them got Really Fat
Couldn't really Say which Encounter Hurts Me More
My Capacity for Pain was Exceeded Three Years Ago
Is it Better When an Ex-Lover Stays Beautiful?
Or is it Better When an Ex-Lover Gets Fat?
Well it's Tough to Call, I Guess it's kind of like
Is it Better to Get Shot in the Face or Leap HeadFirst at a Bullet?
Last Time I Saw You, You were Walking Down the Street
Though more Accurately I Guess You were More Stumbling
While Hanging on the Arm of some Sleazy Guy
Who I had Never Seen
BEFORE BUT SOMETIMES YOU CAN JUST TELL
HE'S SUCH A SLEAZY LOSER
HIS CLOTHES ARE SO FUCKING CHEEZY
CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH HIM
Is it Better When an Ex-Lover Stays Beautiful?
Or is it Better When an Ex-Lover Gets Fat?
Well it's Tough to Call, I Guess it's kind of like
Is it Better to Get Shot in the Face or Leap HeadFirst at a Bullet?
I Wish that Breaking Up were Banned
No-One would Have an Ex Again
And if You Needed Out, Out of the Relationship
You Could Always Kill Your BoyFriend.
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3. |
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Why is it Whenever You Get There they've just Given Out their Last Beer?
And All the People You Know Left 15 Minutes Ago?
But Not Before Spilling something on the Carpet and Breaking a Piece of the Furniture
They Made Out with the Host's Girlfriend and Now You're Getting Your Ass Kicked.
There was a Trick to Working Parties that I knew in my Younger Days.
They Helped me to Feel Alive, but Now they're Killing Me.
If I have One More Four Loco, I Swear my Liver will Explode.
Oh God Please Send Me something else to Help Me Be Up At Parties!
Up At Parties!
Why is it Whenever You Get There, they've Poured the Last of the Good Whiskey?
And Everybody there is a Person You Don't Want to See?
They were Your Friends but they Sided with Your Ex.
You haven't Seen them in Two Years
And Speaking of Your Ex, there She is!
I Hate Parties!
I Hate Parties but I've Gotta Do Something Tonight!
I've Gotta Do Something Tonight!
So I'm Going to a Party Tonight!
As Soon as I Get the Call.
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4. |
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Another night just watching TV
Netflix is really helping me
I haven't watched stand-up comedy
Since early in the year 2003
I've mostly been concerned with the scene
Getting to work on time and looking clean
Veggin' Out has really helped me get back to my True Self!
1-2-3-4
Veggin' Out has really helped me get back to My True Self.
Laying around not doing a thing, that's what's at the Heart of Me
What happened to that other Pound of Cheese
How much Cheese did you Guys Eat?
And the Beer that used to be here
Appears to be somewhere else
It left a Trail of Empty Bottles though
Leading out onto the Porch
Would have Gone to Check it out except it's Snowing Again!
Fuck This Snow
Oh My God It's Snowing Again!
When will this Winter ever End?
Oh My God It's Raining Again!
When will this Weather Ever End?
Oh My God It's Saturday Again!
It Just Keeps on Happening!
Oh My God, Can I please get off this Crazy Train Called Life?
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5. |
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Please don't make me go to sleep the bugs come and take my blood from me so I don't run off while they feed they fill my veins with Lead and heat now I can't rise when it's daylight I couldn't move my this body with all my might so please don't think that I don't like you it's just that sleeping is all that I can do now that my body's full of Lead now that my blood's been replaced with Lead.
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6. |
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The Kids are Moving Back
and All The WishBerries are Blooming
We had an Election Today but I couldn't Vote Because...
I was Thinking of You!
I Wrote You In
For Justice of the Peace
Cut Your Name Into the Voting Machine...
They Threw Me Out of the Polls!
So We Lost the Race
The Party-Party Didn't Win
All the Seats Went to Draconians...
Evil Men with No Hearts!
So I Can't See You Again
Under the New Regime
They've Outlawed Romance and Banned All Dating...
We have to Fall Out of Love!
So Please Don't Call Me Back and I'm Sorry for Using all the Space in your Mailbox.
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7. |
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She Gets Off of Work
And She Goes Out to the Bar
She Gets Super Drunk
And Complains of How Shitty Her RoomMates Are
That Bitch left Her Shoes in the Hall Again
That Bitch Let Her Dog in my Room and it Shit in my Bed
She Moved all the Dishes to the Living Room, there's NoWhere to Sit.
I Fucking Swear to God,
I'm Gonna Kill that Bitch after this Drink!
You'll Be There 'Till 2
She's Got so Much that She Needs to Go Through
About the BullShit She Endures, Just to Keep Her Room.
Her RoomMate's BoyFriend is such a LameDick Douche
They're not even in Love, Everything they say is Rude
He Drink All of Her Coffee and He's Always Sleeping on Her Couch.
Let's Settle-Up this Tab and Go Punch that DoucheBag in the Mouth.
She Gets Off of Work
And She Goes Out to the Bar
She Gets Super Drunk
And Complains of How Shitty Her RoomMates Are
You'll Be There 'Till 2
She's Got so Much that She Needs to Go Through
Oh Lord the BullShit She Endures, Just to Keep Her Room.
This is What Laura Says
This is What Laura Says
Anytime that She's Around.
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8. |
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Johnny dies at the End
Of Wounds he received saving children from a Church Fire
Then Dally loses his mind...
Holds up a Clerk with an Unloaded Gun
But the Cops don't care
They Shoot Him Down Anyway
Dally Crawls through the Mud and Loses all his Blood
Crawls on his Elbows
Bleeds a lot and Says:
Pony....
Then he also Dies.
Then Dally also Dies.
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9. |
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Aaron Levy it's not that Bad
You Don't Have to Take those Pills
Aaron Levy it's not that Bad
You Don't Have to Take those Pills
Aaron Levy things are Looking Up
You Don't Have to Take those Pills
You Don't Have to Take Anything that You Don't Want.
What if Any is the Latest Word
The Latest Word on Food Not Bombs
Who's Running it Now Getting Ticket
For Giving out Food in the Park
It Seems to Me like they could Use
Some Brother Levy Guidance Right Now
Aaron Levy How about You Stick Around for Just a Little While?
Aaron Levy it's not that Bad
You Don't Have to Take those Pills
Aaron Levy it's not that Bad
You Don't Have to Take those Pills
Aaron Levy things are Looking Up
You Don't Have to Take those Pills
You Don't Have to Take Anything that You Don't Want.
It's Been Too Long since I've Seen You Wear
Your Super-Cute Kitty Ear Hat
With a Shoulder Bag and a Bushy Beard
A Hoodie with a Black Fist Patch
Aaron Levy Your Sense of Style
Is Reason Enough to Stay Alive
Aaron Levy there is No Need, No Need to Make YourSelf Die.
Aaron Levy it's not that Bad
You Don't Have to Take those Pills
Aaron Levy it's not that Bad
You Don't Have to Take those Pills
Aaron Levy things are Looking Up
You Don't Have to Take those Pills
You Don't Have to Take Anything that You Don't Want.
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10. |
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A Tale of Love, Confusion, Devotion, Friendship and the Problems with Abstinence-Only Education.
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11. |
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Bowling Alone
Bowling Alone Again
Bowling Alone
Bowling Alone Without My Friends
Bowling Alone
Bowling Alone the Third Time this Week
Bowling Alone
As Long as You're Bowling You Can Drink for Free!
Do You have Any Idea How Much Beer Costs?
This Pitcher in a Bar would Cost 12 Bucks
I've Gotta Save Up Lots of Money so I Can Leave this Fucking Country
So if I Want to Drink I Have to Bowl.
Bowling Alone
Bowling Alone Again
Bowling Alone
Bowling Alone I Have No Friends
Bowling Alone
Bowling Alone the Fifth Time this Week
Bowling Alone
As Long as You're Bowling You Can Drink for Free!
Do You have Any Idea How Much Beer Costs?
This Pitcher in a Bar would Cost 12 Bucks
I've Gotta Save Up All My Money so I Can Leave this Wretched Country
So if I Want to Drink I Have to Bowl!
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12. |
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Beyond the Ponderosa
There is a Barren Wasteland
Where Everyone's a Mutant
and the Earth is Boiling Quicksand
There's a place for You and Me Dear
Out there in that Barren Wasteland
We can Live Among the Mutants
and Tend the Boiling Quicksand
I'll be Waiting Out There for You
Out There in that Barren Wasteland
I'll be the One who's Not a Mutant
Singing Love Songs in the Quicksand...
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13. |
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This Hotel is Alright I Guess
It is the Newest One in Town
They Just Finished Construction
and It's Got a Funny Name
There are So Many People Here
A Really Great Turnout this Year
I Hope they Hold it in this Place
from Now On
I Have Just Booked Up My Room
For the Next Three Decades or So
I'll Never Miss out on a Chance
To Catch Up with You Guys Again
In Order to Go Back to the Ways
of the Days of '99
We'll Just Move in the Drury
and Let Our Lives ReInterTwine
Like 1999
1999
Nineteen Ninety Nine
I Chased a Girl Driving a Jeep
My Trousers were Around My Knees
My Arms were Spread Out in the Air
My Voice was Screaming Out a Prayer
If I can Make It with this Girl
I'll Do My Best to Save the World
I'll Devote All My Life to God if I Can Date a Girl So Hot
For All of 1999
1999
Nineteen Ninety Nine
It's too Bad that You Lost Your Job
I'm So Sorry Your Father Died
It Really Broke My Heart to Hear
of All the Problems with Your Wife
It Seems like You are Carrying
Much More Weight in Your Face these Days
Is that Weight on Account of the Baby that I was Told You Made
They Said You had it with that Guy
What's His Name that You Used to Date
Way Back in the Nostalgic Days
Of 1999
1999
Nineteen Ninety Nine
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14. |
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Met Some Guy on the Internet Drank Dinner Ate Some Drinks and We MadeOut, but that was Back in August and it's December Now, and I haven't Seen any Action since that Night.
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15. |
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You're in So Much Trouble only God can Save You Now
I Suggest You get a Direct Line Put in
Get You All the Answers to Your Urgent Needs
Get Your Ass Off Failure Street.
Woah.
You're Gonna Be Caught Up in All Your Lies
You're Running Out of Places to Hide Them
You're Gonna Be Called on All Your Shit
The Only Choice is to Deal with It.
Woah.
Why Don't You Catch a Freighter to Egypt
I Hear that God Still Lives Out There
Get Yourself in the Pyramids
Scream So Loud They can't Help but Hear You.
Woah.
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16. |
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Hey there Super Pretty Girl
Dig the Way you See the World
It's not that I don't Love You
Just Not like you Love me
My Heart's Tattered Worn and Sore
Can't Push Out Love anymore
Any Love you Want
You'll Have to Come and Get yourself
Though I Dig that you Told me
It's Cool a Pretty Girl Loves me
It's not that I Don't Love you Back
Just not like you Love me
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17. |
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18. |
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I'm Gonna See Less than Jake
I'm Gonna Dance the Night Away
We're Gonna Sing and Laugh 'till Dawn
Then We'll Break-Up and I'll Move On.
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19. |
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I'd Love to Sit with You as You Do Your Hair
and Maybe I Could Make Snacks
To Help You Get You're Energy Back
After You've Saved some Kids
From Being Eaten by Demons
I Know it Must be really Hard
To Be a Hero when You're just 16.
Maybe I could Help
You to Get Your HomeWork Done on Time
I Know that I have not been
the Best Example with Doing Mine
But for You I'd Get it Done
Thanks for Saving Everyone
From the Master's Evil Plan
You Saved Every Child Woman and Man.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
You are the Queen of SunnyDale and You Deserve to Be Treated as Such.
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20. |
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She Threw Herself into the Sea
Threw Herself into the Sea
To Escape the Surface World and Me
I Saw Her Swallowed by the Waves
Saw Her Trounced 'Round by the Waves
I Heard the Sea Break Every One of Her Bones
I Dove in with a Vest of Life
Dove in Screaming Please don't Die
She would rather Drown than Look at Me
It was the Night of Senior Prom
Eleven Years Ago She Died
Driven Mad by Dancing Close to Me
That's Why I cannot Dance with You
Even though You're Super Cute
Your Eyes are very Bright to Me but They're the Colour of the Sea.
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21. |
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Okay fine I say yes you seem so excited for this let me know when we are done don't go telling anyone that I have this kind of fun 'cause why else then would anyone listen to this dreary song instead of a fun one where they can sing along
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22. |
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Mrs. Cardellini
So Good to See You Here
I have Loved Your Daughter for a Long Long Time
We Met on the TV Set of the Show Freaks and Geeks
She Knew Gymnastics We were both Sixteen
but I Up and Quit the Show and I Let Your Daughter Go
I Ran off with a Girl who had Rings in Her Lips
The Hardest that I ever Laughed was with Her
No One's Denying that
The Best Times that I ever had were with Her
No One's Denying that
The Worste things that I ever Did were to Her
I can't Deny that any Longer
So Mrs. Cardellini when You See Your Daughter
Will You Please Ask Her this One thing for Me
Mrs. Cardellini if You Think it's Right
Mrs. Cardellini if You have the Time
Mrs. Cardellini Look Into my Eyes
Will You Ask Linda if She'll be my Wife?
I Loved All of Her TV Shows
Movie Premieres I Always Go
Cannot get enough of Your Beautiful Girl
Super Cute in Scooby Doo Hotter still in Number Two
Now I get to See where She got Her Looks
She' s got the Brightest Eyes and She is the Perfect Size
I really Dig the Fact that She's 5ft 2
Mrs. Cardellini Hope You Take this Right
like Your Daughter Your Eyes are Bright!
Mrs. Cardellini if You Think it's Right
Mrs. Cardellini if You have the Time
Mrs. Cardellini Look Into my Eyes
Will You Ask Linda if She'll be my Wife?
I've got a Little Bike it's Brown
I Zoom on it all over Town
Wish Hard every day that it were a Time Machine
'Cause if I Rode it Fast Enough
If I Pedaled Hard Enough
I'd Take it All the Way Back to 1998
From that Time I'd Start Again and Be a Much Better Boyfriend
I'd Never Leave Your Daughter and I'd Stay on Freaks and Geeks.
The Hardest that I ever Laughed was with Her
No One's Denying that
The Best Times that I ever had were with Her
No One's Denying that
The Worste things that I ever Did were to Her
I can't Deny that any Longer
So Mrs. Cardellini when You See Your Daughter
Will You Please Ask Her this One thing for Me
Mrs. Cardellini if You Think it's Right
Mrs. Cardellini if You have the Time
Mrs. Cardellini Look Into my Eyes
Will You Ask Linda if She'll be my Wife?
Mrs. Cardellini I Understand why You Can't Help Me Out
but when You Next See Linda just Tell Her I Said Hi
and I Think about Her
and Sometimes it's a Lot of the Time
a lof of the Time it's just Sometimes
There's quite a bit of Time I Spend Thinking of Your Daughter
Let Her Know She Can Call Me if She Wants to Call Me
and if it ever seems like Maybe She is Thinking of Me
Will You Please Do this Mrs. Cardellini
Mrs. Cardellini if You Think it's Right
Mrs. Cardellini if You have the Time
Mrs. Cardellini Look Into my Eyes
Will You Ask Linda if She'll be my Wife?
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23. |
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I Hate Every Girl in the World 'Cause None of them Will Be with Me
I Hate their Hair and their Lying Smile and the WitchCraft in their Feminine Wiles
Nowadays it seems to Me they All act like they're in a Fraternity
They Drink too much
They Smoke too much
They Fuck too much and don't Love Enough
So I'll probably Die Alone
Nobody Calls Me on the Phone
Spend every Night all by Myself
Why is my Life such Hell?
I Hate the Way they Get what they Want by Smiling like Debutantes
They Look at You and Shake their Hair and put their Perfume everywhere
I'm Sorry Ma'am You'll have to Leave 'cause in that Stink I cannot Breathe
You might as well Give Up Now 'cause We'll Never Ever Be Together
'Cause I'm Planning on Dying Alone
Don't Let People Call Me on the Phone
Spend Every Night all by Myself
I'm Starting to Enjoy My Life in Hell.
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24. |
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Do You Remember what We used to Say to each other at the Start of the Day?
It was that I Love You and that You Love Me too, No Matter what Happens things Will Be Okay
But Nobody Says those Kinds of Things these Days
Nobody Seems to Fall in Love these Days
Everyone is Breaking Up this Whole World is So Damn Messed Up I'm Never Going Out in It Again
You're a Pretty Girl so it's not that Hard for You to Catch a Ride on some Guy's Arm
Every time I'm out I'm just Drinking with the Guys
Drink too Much Go Home and Cry but Every time I See You You've Got Yourself a Brand New guy and just like all the Others he's got no Style
Nobody Says those Kinds of Things these Days
Nobody Seems to Fall in Love these Days
Everyone is Breaking Up this Whole World is So Damn Messed Up I'm Never Going Out in It Again
When I Leave the House it's a Certainty that You're Gonna Walk on Over to Me
Smile and I'll Wave I'll Tell You Lies
Why the Fuck won't You just Let Me Die?
Nobody Says those Kinds of Things these Days
Nobody Seems to Fall in Love these Days
Everyone is Breaking Up this Whole World is So Damn Messed Up Why the Fuck won't You Let Me Die
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25. |
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God Please Burn Las Vegas Down
God Please Smash it to the Ground
Cut a Hole in My Head to Bleed Out the Sound of the Sin City UnderGround
Sure I'll Give You a Ride in My Car
I'm not Working anyway
and You Say the Room is Paid for
Well I Can Party for Five Days
Turns Out that I Like Roulette
Put All My Money on Black 'Cause that's the Colour I am Wearing Just like in the Alkaline Trio
God Please Burn Las Vegas Down
God Please Smash it to the Ground
Cut a Hole in My Head to Bleed Out the Sound of the Sin City UnderGround
JK Won a lot on Slots
Bought us each a Tittie Mug
I Spent most of My Time Sulking
Driving Up and Down the Strip
Let's Play the Hottie Counting Game
First One to Fifty is How You Win
Oh We're Both so Fucking Broke Let's just Play this Game Forever
God Please Burn Las Vegas Down
God Please Smash it to the Ground
Cut a Hole in My Head to Bleed Out the Sound of the Sin City UnderGround
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26. |
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It'd Be Great to Meet a Girl
in a Far Away Airport
that Way the Two of Us could See if Our Baggage Matched
Mine is Big but it's Got Wheels on It
Mine is Big but it's Got Wheels on It
She's Got Lots of Little Things they Add up to a Bunch though
It Could Work Out Super Fine
Hers could Ride on the Back of Mine
She Would Have to Steer It though I Have No Control
Over the Things that Bother Me
and Over the Things that Annoy Me
and the Ten Thousand Heart Breaking Things that I See in a Weekend
Woah
YES!
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Recorded Spring and Summer 2010. It is the best thing I have ever done with my Life.